Culture

It's no fun on the street

Bashar al-Assad
Bashar al-Assad
The President of Syria and Regional Secretary of the Ba'ath Party. His father Hafez al-Assad ruled Syria for 29 years until his death in 2000. Al-Assad was elected in 2000, re-elected in 2007, unopposed each time. | Photo: Archives | Syria, President, Ba'ath,

Syrian Men are Fighting to the Last Drop of Blood

Here is a song passage I just wrote about the Syrian Civil War.

"There are no more trees....

They're been blown down'

You'll never find haven in any part of town...

See the guns draw near'

Let's get out of here'.

It's no fun on the street where you live."

Syrian men with conflicted agendas are fighting to the last drop of blood, much of it from women and children, in an attempt to oust a dictator, who has one great weakness in addition to his close-minded, fanatic stupidity and ruthless sociopathic homicidal tendencies. That weakness'is'he doesn't wear fake medals and sunglasses.

The man looks like a used car salesman in Damascus. No wonder he only rules 35 streets currently in Aleppo (33 as of yesterday). I've figured out a way to get rich. I'm going to hire out my services as a street sign painter.

They change every day. One day in Aleppo amid the smoking ruins a street is called the "Rue de al-Assad" (all Middle Eastern dictators traditionally have a fondness for French concubines). The next day the street has been captured and renamed the Free Syrian Army "FSA Boulevard."

The very next day it has been recaptured and renamed the "al-Assad Overpass," in recognition that in walking along the street--------you have to pass over the bodies littering it.

All you need is some paint and stencils. And you could make a fortune off this tragedy, much as al-Assad has made a killing (literally and financially) in causing it.

He should read my new book, "How to Survive as a Tin Pot Dictator When Times are Tough in Five Easy Lessons." Only $69.95 whiles supplies last. I show you all the ins and outs, how you can cling to power barely day by day as a thoroughly disreputable man, as your country slowly dies all around you.

Aaron Stipkovich
Aaron Stipkovich

This self-portrait as taken by AND Publisher Aaron Stipkovich, between 1990 and 2006 (intentionally ambiguous) in Damascus, Syria. | Photo: Aaron Stipkovich StipkoPhoto.com |
If you're a maniac who wants to keep power----you'll want my new book and accompanying CD.

First of all, a dictator, in addition to possessing chemical weapons that can melt your face, needs to have a uniform with fake medals, and sunglasses like Libya's Muammar Gaddafi used to wear-----that give you a slightly mystery-man look. For example, the former dictator of North Korea Kim Jung-il, never went anywhere without his sunglasses, and look how long he lasted in power. He died in bed. When he took them off, he looked much like a frog.

Al-Assad with that grungy suit and tie. I never see him pose on balconies with fake medals like Mussolini used to. How are you going to gain respect if you're a thief who would steal $59 off his own mother, a liar and a homicidal maniac, if you don't wear impressive looking clothes and pose on a balcony while addressing hired audience sycophants who clap on command?

It's very hard if you don't.

Order my new book today. If you do, I will throw in free my companion piece, "How to Spread War Beyond Borders and Engulf an Entire Region in Armageddon----And Qualify for Billions in American Aid."

Order now!

Comment on Disqus

Comment on Facebook

Updated May 6, 2017 5:59 AM EDT | More details

AND Magazine AND MAGAZINE

©2017 AND Magazine, LLC
5 Columbus Circle, 8th Floor
New York, New York 10019 USA

This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without express written permission from AND Magazine corporate offices. All rights reserved.