The Jeremy Kyle Show USA
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The Jeremy Kyle Show makes the Last Judgement seem like a play date with Santa Claus
Jeremy Kyle Rhymes with Bile
"I am just like my mates ' I listen to people and say what I think. It's just part of life for me."
Thus says the caring, sharing, cuddly Jeremy Kyle, though each to his own - you may prefer to cuddle a cobra. If he's a typical friend ' who needs enemies? Obnoxious, combative ' he prides himself on being vile. Oh and just think ' that also rhymes with Kyle! Well he's lucky all right. He's not even charming. The Simon Cowells and Piers Morgans of the super, shiny world of international TV may be obnoxious, but they also have a 'certain something', that self confident wit and charisma that - and you may want to kick yourself rather than admit it ' makes for compulsive viewing. Not for nothing did Morgan win Celebrity Apprentice USA, and let's face it, Simon Cowell wins everything going.
But The Jeremy Kyle Show, a daytime TV tabloid chat show, both in its original UK incarnation or more recently, Stateside, makes the Last Judgement seem like a play date with Santa Claus. On the face of it, you may deem it acceptable to be aggressive to the kind of father who walks out on his wife and child in the middle of the night, and disappears only to be unearthed by the Jeremy Kyle Showproduction team years later to reappear in front of his ex-missus and the whole of America, plain as day and with a soul as black as night. For the pantomime villains that are hunted down by this lot, a showdown before the gaping millions is too good an opportunity to miss. Fame at last! And if you can't be famous, then hey, infamous is OK too! Though it seems the show's host has that same mentality.
Often the bad guys ' and gals ' get in front of the camera, and start grinning. Possibly from embarrassment but then'erm, why are they here again? Chances are it's to hear the results of a DNA test. A father, or not a father? As the nation bates its breath and judges the morals of women who don't know the paternity of their own children, Kyle does a jolly good impression of Righteous Indignation, come to bristling life.
So what is it about risible British TV Personalities and the States? Either Americans love to be told off ' or told what to do ' by our showbiz nannies (SuperNanny, Nanny 911), our onscreen chefs (Jamie's Food Revolution, Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares) and our celebrity 'judges' (Cowell et al), or we're all just being sold a great, big lie. Someone, somewhere thought it was a good idea for some famous git to be 'well, a git on TV. It was a novelty. What was that? (Knuckles turn white as they grip the arms of a chair). Who do they think they are? Did they really say that? Hmm'better just check that out again! This is served up day after day, in fact. And so the show boat sails on, through choppy waters it braves rough seas, straight across The Pond - and takes over all of our lives
The wondrous Judge Judy is very small potatoes compared with this lot. Tut, tut ' disgusting!! Abandonment? Disgusting! Infidelity? Disgusting! Meanwhile Jeremy Kyle hectors and badgers men, women, mothers, fathers ' or erstwhile fathers, would-be fathers and irresponsible fathers. Jerry Springer kicked it all off but he was just a pussy cat ' Jeremy Kyle is the King of the Jungle. Or at least, a slimy, weaselly polecat, dead set on small screen domination. And he's doing allright! What a great guy! He's showing us all the error of our ways. Why can't we all grow up to be upright and righteous just like Jeremy Kyle. He's a good guy, right, here to help the confused and broken patch up their lives? So here's more touchy, feely background from The Jeremy Kyle Show website:
'Jeremy was so determined to keep his relationship going with his daughter that he would drive five hours through the night after a late finish at work.
"I'd get there at 5am, get a couple of hours rest, then play with her all weekend," he said. "I just couldn't miss her growing up, or not be her dad.
"I always feel for the guys who can't see their kids and I have little sympathy for those blokes who don't make any effort to look after the kids they've brought into the world."
Aw, bless. What a great, straight up guy! He slept for just two hours then played with his child all weekend! Yeuch. Excuse me while I choke on my tea. It's no big surprise that he was once a life insurance salesman. Picture the poor householder confronted with Kyle. 'Pardon me ' could you get your great big foot out of my door jamb?' Well, er..no!! Sign on the dotted line, do.
Described by British District Judge Alan Berg, who chaired the court case of a man who head-butted his wife's lover on The Jeremy Kyle Show, as 'human bear baiting in the guise of entertainment' this delightful series has aired with such gems as 'My partner's cousin may be the father of my child', ' Has my girlfriend been having an affair with my uncle?' and 'Mum, don't have a baby with your alcoholic boyfriend!'
Kyle appeared in 2010 at the Conservative Party Conference. He chaired the theme of "Getting Britain Back To Work". Meanwhile he shamelessly entertains the unemployed with his trashy daytime show. What a revolting man, and what a sad and sorry mess it all is.
Eileen Osullivan, Features Columnist: Pick the true stories- 1) Richard Branson once leapt over a balustrade on the 14th floor of a Portugese hotel, because I told him to (the proverbial, beginning with an F), Off! At a gathering of the Virgin clans - we all worked together in the early 90s - I sang for him and he advised me to 'stay with the day job.' The guys began to peel off his fingers as I prayed to a God I am unsure of, to save his life. Like it was needed. I have vertigo - he loves clowning around on balloons. Go... (more...)