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You Have Gray Hair

Fareed Nazaryfar
Contributing Writer

Pointing out a physical feature that's obvious should be tucked away in the asshole of conversation



Social etiquette, sloppy semantics and morons

Richard Gere

Richard Tiffany Gere, born August 31, 1949, established himself as a leading man and a sex symbol, then went on to star in several hit films including An Officer and a Gentleman, Pretty Woman, Primal Fear, and Chicago, for which he won a Golden Globe Award as Best Actor, as well as a Screen Actors Guild Award as part of the Best Cast. | Richard Gere, Actor, Gray Hair, Sexy,

Social etiquette, sloppy semantics and morons

Fareed Nazaryfar
Contributing Writer

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[Comments] Social customs are becoming more and more arbitrary with what is considered wholly taboo, and what is considered to be a casual objectification. For example, my brother-being the appropriately tall, firm framed and masculine-has a beautifully woven mixture of silk black and slick gray hair and it is commented on inexorably by babbling buffoons. The stream of comments that are disparagingly quipped toward his onset of hair strands that are bereft of pigment is unrelenting. It has to be said, that a majority of the comments come from women as they saddle up toward him, point an accusatory finger and with magnified scrutiny blab, 'you've got gray hair'.

No one else seems as irked or aggrieved by this comment as I am-I find it utterly distasteful, unimaginative and a salient case of pointing out the fucking obvious. Why is this not considered taboo? If I were to approach a girl at a gathering, scrutinize her appearance and calmly state, 'you've got a fat head' or 'you're fat'-calamity would ensue. This is obviously hypocritical and overtly insensitive. I've even heard people use the 'you've got gray hair' reproach as an overture as they've only just met him.

Although gray hair is technically transparent-not gray-for some it can be quite a traumatic period due to the implied dread of 'change' that accompanies it, as well as how society has mauled the very essence of 'going gray' into some kind of preliminary step toward dilapidation with a conjured up sense of exigency to remediate this ostensible issue.


Ingrid Becker

Ingrid Becker is a top model in Germany and an icon for grey haired beauty. | Photo: Aaron Stipkovich | Link | Ingrid Becker, German, Model, Sexy, Grey, Gray,




Obviously, people have different sensibilities as well as different views of the world, but why do these veritable idiots feel the need to point it out? Do they believe that perhaps the mirror that said person with gray hair owns is sentient and is misleading them into the understanding that they in fact have strawberry blonde hair?

You wouldn't approach someone and say, 'you are 5 feet 10 inches' or 'you have brown eyes, a hairy back and a camel toe'-people would believe that the person pointing out these obvious biological traits has either lost their carer or is a staunch body fascist who expounds the continuities of eugenics. 'You've got gray hair' is offensive, not due to the preexisting color of the hair is pedestrian anyway (it has been sold to the masses as a self-serving way to enhance your own personal beauty to be a conservative brunette or a dirty blonde, a fiery red-head or a silver fox), but because of the implied intonation that accompanies the drab piece of commentary on one's own life. Perhaps it would be acceptable to comment on someone's hair if they shaved the shape of a penis into it-it is self-induced and not inherent in their DNA, but once you start commenting on the color of someone's hair in a derogatory manner-it is the same as commenting on the color of their skin (something that they cannot control), and in my opinion, this creates a society crippled by aesthetic expectations and ignites an unnecessary color hierarchy that is meaningless in the grand scheme.

If you are one of the grays, next time one of these half-wits poses the old, 'you've got gray hair'-please ensure you mind fuck them with some quantum mechanics, perhaps some space and time, and then the strands of hair on a man or woman's head will seem irrelevant.


Fareed Nazaryfar

Fareed Nazaryfar, Contributing Writer: Published by the Orange County Register, as well as esoteric publications such as Groundsounds magazine in Los Angeles. Currently on a perennial mission to please the eyes of the editing staff at The New Yorker in a bid to get anything published to validate a sense of "quality". (more...)