The Left

Ryan's Reluctance

Paul Ryan
Paul Ryan
Paul Davis Ryan (born January 29, 1970) is an American politician, the United States Representative for Wisconsin's 1st congressional district, and the presumptive nominee of the Republican Party for Vice President of the United States in the 2012 election. | Photo: Time Inc. | Paul Ryan, Vice President, Republican, Congressman, 2012,

Candidates will be considered in numerical order.

Accepting the House of Representatives Speaker position for the Republican Party is a bit like accepting a job as human bait trolled behind a boat to attract sharks, or could be seen as a derivation on an old saying, "It's not a pretty job, but nobody wants to do it."

The reluctance Paul Ryan has shown to take the thankless speaker job could not make it plainer that Tea Bag Republicans have no respect or regard not only for those with whom they disagree, but also for each other.

It's called contempt.

If they didn't have it, for each other, it wouldn't be so hard to fill the speaker post.

What image comes to mind about the Republican Speaker job? How about taking over a sinking ship as captain? Or how about jumping out of airplane without a parachute?

How would you like a job whose main objective is to advance a political party in coming elections in a party peopled by dogmatic demagogic fanatics who neither listen to reason nor appeals to compromise, and who see every attempt at common sense as traitorous conspiracy?

In other words, they're their own worst enemies, or in other words, you give them a length of rope and they hang themselves, or they want to throw the baby out with the bath water....I could go on and on.

You get the point. Is this Mission Impossible? To Ryan it is. What has he got to gain attempting to reason with those who don't know the meaning of the word?

Ryan supports the Tea Party's belief in individual rights, although the Tea Party wants to shut down a woman's right to choose reproductive options (abortion), a distrust of big government, although the deficit-rocketing Republican Party never saw a war it didn't like, and the allegorical embrace of the Founding Fathers, except for Washington, Adams and Jefferson, who opposed government based on religion.

Tea Party ass-kissing candidates have done everything except grow beards like Charlton Heston (Moses) and carry stone tablets down the mountain. Give them time. Next week they will.

The party's anti-immigrant status is well known, although Tea Party candidates and their constituents often use immigrants (legal and not) to pick their dinner salads, mow and landscape their front yards, and make their beds at hotel rooms. Paul Ryan's ancestors came over here from Ireland, a miserable rabble of out-of-work wretches. Everybody in the Tea Party, their wretched out-of-work grandparents came over here too (some from Germany, Poland and other wretched places).

So it stands to reason Ryan might think twice about representing a party that opposes the miserable immigrant wretches who do the minimum wage jobs upon which the elitist Republicans often depend.

Perhaps the Republicans should be referred to as "The Party of Double Standards."

John Boehner, soon to be former Republican House Speaker, realized the utter futility of trying to reason with such people. He's going to quit. A possible replacement Kevin McCarthy also backed off, which led to the next potential (pardon the comparison) "victim," Ryan.

Ryan has what I like to call "Better than Worst Case Syndrome." In this affliction, you realize the sufferer (the voter) has to face the stark reality that as much as you may disagree with Paul Ryan, as much as you may think he's irresponsible.

For example Ryan, who like the majority of patriot conservatives never served a day in the military, said, "I voted to send people to war," meaning Iraq, bragging that he was proud of the fiasco.

Nevertheless, because of "Worst Case Syndrome," Ryan despite himself looks intelligent when compared to other Republicans. That he apparently doesn't want the House Speaker job makes it certain there is some intelligent activity under his scalp.

So, who can the Republicans get for this thankless, potentially career-busting job (whoever takes it will look bad because the party will lose elections because of their stupidity and then blame the House Speaker as the number one scapegoat figure).

Maybe they should run an ad in the papers.

The ad will read, "Wanted, someone who has the ability to deal with lunatics and childish, selfish morons. Must be immune to taunts and insults, must be willing to sacrifice a chance at the White House and be burned in effigy, masochists preferred, those willing to be denigrated, humiliated, ignored, by people who in spirit are very similar to the mob of pitchfork and torch-carrying villagers in a Frankenstein movie."

No resume. No intelligent former statements or policies required.

Simply a friendly subservient attitude and a willingness to be on the wrong side of every issue is required.

Candidates will be considered in numerical order as soon as they quit.

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Updated May 6, 2017 5:51 AM EDT | More details

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