The Left

False Prophets

Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton
Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, born October 26, 1947, a US Presidential candidate for 2016, former First Lady of the United States, United States Secretary of State, serving under President Barack Obama from 2009 to 2013; a former United States Senator from New York, and more. | Hillary Clinton, First Lady, President, Bill Clinton, Secretary Of State, Yale, Democrat, Hair, Earring,

They're revving up for Hillary.

With Hillary Clinton a strong contender to be one of this year's presidential candidates, I'm not surprised the prophecies of doom have already begun.

Back in 2015, Roger L. Simon of PJ Media predicted that if Hillary Clinton wins in November, it will be a catastrophe because Republicans will never accept her as president. As a result, America will face civil war, urban riots, federal financial collapse (Clinton rejects the rule of law, therefore nobody will feel obligated to respect the law and pay taxes!), more Muslims coming to the US and an increase in terrorist attacks.

In short, the same things the conservative media have been predicted about Democrats since Bill Clinton took office and ended a 12 year Republican run (I don't think some of them have ever gotten over the shock). Clinton I and Obama were both harbingers of civil war (which if it had happened, would have been totally their own fault). Likewise, since 2001"Elect a Democrat and the Muslims will kills us in our beds!" has been a standard Republican prediction. How can they resist when it simultaneously lets them slam both Muslims and Democrats?

The predictions have been consistently wrong, along with many others (Bill Clinton's first-term tax increase was going to plunge the country into a new recession, remember?). But no matter how many times the prophets crap out, they just pick themselves up and repeat the same prediction for the next Democrat. Or even the same Democrat: after Obama didn't bring on a socialist revolution in his first term, several people who'd predicted it assured me he was just waiting until after his re-election.

Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton

First Lady Hillary Clinton talks to reporters on Jan. 26, 1996 after testifying before a grand jury investigating Whitewater. Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, born October 26, 1947, a US Presidential candidate for 2016, former First Lady of the United States, United States Secretary of State, serving under President Barack Obama from 2009 to 2013; a former United States Senator from New York, and more. | Photo: Associated Press |
But those bad predictions are nothing compared to some of the others:

Obama will run Michelle Obama in 2016 to be his puppet president. And he'll recruit black street gangs as his new secret police, to silence anyone who opposes his wife's election.

Obama will confiscate our guns! According to Focus on the Family in 2008, gun ownership would be banned — not regulated or licensed, but banned — in eight states by 2012. The right-wing group also predicted an end to any obscenity restrictions on broadcast TV; gas at $7/gallon; enlistment bonuses for gays who join the military; no medical care given to anyone 80 or older; stores openly displaying porn magazines instead of keeping the covers out of sight; student prayer banned in school.

The federal government is going to take over Texas! An astonishing number of people (including several politicians) freaked out about the Jade Helm military exercise in Texas, alleging that it was part of a plot to impose martial law. They were wrong.

Violence because of gay marriage! Theocrat Bryan Fischer predicted there'd be violence and "civil unrest" if the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage. Once again the predictions of civil war were wrong.

In fairness, predicting the future is never easy. Pretty much everyone predicted Trump's candidacy would tank before the end of last year and I read multiple predictions that Scott Walker would be a serious contender for the nomination. But many of the right-wing predictions are less about the future than terrifying their audience by playing on their fears. The black president will encourage scary black men to attack white people. Liberals will make it easy for your kids to watch or read porn. Muslims are going to kill us all if we don't kill or exile them all first. So I figure it's worth pointing out how bad these predictions are.

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Updated Apr 22, 2017 5:29 AM EDT | More details

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