all roads lead to romney

| ,

Like A Roman Patrician, Willard Favors Games for GOPmob

It's not surprising that Willard Romney seems to have failed to mention that his family's name is well-known in Republican lore: his father, George, a stalwart Nixon ally and cabinet member, in whom the Dick Nixon admired 'missionary zeal'. And then there's a certain candidate named Cain who has used the term 'brainwashed', the very choice of words Willard's dad George, the zealot aforementioned, used in self-description about another form of combat, the Vietnam War. Then there's the touchy matter of his famed father having been born in Mexico, Willard's grandparents polygamy having driven them out of these United States.

With this template of willing forgetfulness in mind, perhaps we have a genuine insight into the well-educated mind of this man of Massachusetts where, as Governor, he managed to enact a health care plan remarkably similar to that fashioned -- with Willard's topical advisors -- for the nation by his probable rival in the general election for President next year.

This would-be Chief Executive's thumb, while as agile as any famed Roman ruler's flip/flop of the wrist (depending on the mob's vociferousness at any given moment of the game) seems a bit too manicured to suit a certain loudly chanting contingent, drunk on heavy consumption of copious amounts of a strange brew of expensive Koch (pronounced 'coke') and coarsely brewed tea leaves.

'Default' seems the best descriptor for this polished graying-at-the-temples Rom(ney)an, his rivals seeming to fall upon their competitive swords toward relative non-viability. That said, the real question -- apart from the subtle reminders his Democratic incumbent rival's minions will surely bring to bear upon this selective memory of his -- just whom will he select as his running mate.

Ruling out, for purposes of present analysis, his extant GOP rivals (inasmuch as they have essentially ruled themselves out by way of vote-getting impotence within the GOP), will regional necessity govern his choice? Hmm. Let's have a quick peek into the crystal ball, crystal appealing to Willard I'm certain.

The South, his father George's boss transformed this traditional bastion of Democrats into the 'Solid South'. Factor in electoral sunbelt dynamics and, well, Willard's gotta have 'em. But, fearing that they won't want him so much, he's got to find a name, preferably of the female gender. Barring the firing of one of the zombie-killing female cast of Atlanta's 'Walking Dead', there just ain't the available skill-setted belle this side of the country club set's debutante balls.

What about the southwest -- hey, Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona's got street creds with that Anglo mob... hmmm. And she's got blonde hair, dude. Maybe.

Midwest, hey, dad was Governor of Michigan -- too far north of the Pecos. Still, Timmy Pawlenty's kind of available. Pencil him in, for now.

Okay, the wild West; Arnold's no good, that birther thing, besides, no more Kennedys in the fold.

Northeast, nope, even if their mob credentials are splendid, gotta keep that Massachusetts/New England thing off the radar and New York, heck, they elected a Democrat in that darn district what was Republican for generations.

Hey, this is business, something you know so well, Willard, c'mon; look, Herm's from Georgia, he's gonna beat that harassment rap, just another women's liberation ploy, and those good old boys need cover for their unreasoned contempt for the sitting President. Yeah, Herman Cain, Romney-Cain, it's got a nice ring to it, and not the golden kind of bling Newt, the pseudo-Southerner from Pennsylvania's got hung around his neck like some shiny albatross.

"Get me the printer on the phone, the non-union one we used in '08, yeah; tell him to run me a gross of bumper stickers, 'Romney-Brewer', & 'Romney-Cain'..." Right, it's like a coin toss, that's all, flip the coin, and it flops on some side.

Comment on Facebook

Updated Jan 2, 2019 12:29 PM EST | More details


©2019 AND Magazine

This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without express written permission from AND Magazine corporate offices. All rights reserved.