Waving, Back, Back, Back

Albert 'You Can Call Me Al' Einstein's done it again

Albert 'You-Can-Call-Me-Al' Einstein has done it again: his general theory of relativity--so seminal it contained zero footnotes--has again been confirmed by direct experimental evidence, this time its claim that the four known universal forces were, at one 'time', well, ONE.

The Harvard Smithsonian team spent three years telescopically staring into a patch of the heavens with a decidedly chilly Antarctic device collaboratively operated by a host of entities, academic and governmental, known acronymically as BICEP2. And what a pose down, Al.

This proverbially ultimate quest spans time/space so blithely that two 19th century-born savants (Lincoln, who founded the NAS during the height of the Civil War, and Al) have enabled us to climb aboard the collective 'way-way back' machine Peabody toys with at a theater near you, and travel to within a nano-second of "IT".

And, whatever/whoever that "IT" may have been caused by is, still, unknown, we're led to the big kahuna question: 'Who/What's waving back at us?' (Note the clever metaphorical allusion to surfer culture, waves...hello? Oh, yes, anyone else find it interesting that what we call I.T. in the cyberculture seems to, well, rule it?)

Let's delve a bit, shall we?
First, let's consider the nature of the detected wave---the cosmologists call it 'B-mode', featuring curls in the patterns of ancient light; how they spotted these curlicues, they checked the light's polarization, that thing we filter out with those expensive sunglasses we wear just to be cool. Aye, there's the rub, or something.

Cool is rather apt, as it allowed this nascent light, i.e., radiation, to vary, leading to densities which ended up being you and me (no, not that sort of 'dense' and, think about it, were these newly forming galaxies donning the equivalent of sunglasses?).

So, not bad for a questionable father, bad husband and overall troublemaker (even without sunglasses) to his Teutonic teachers who refused to even write him a reference letter for employment--you know the rest. The Swiss patent office in Berne (which his dad had to ask a favor for him to be interviewed) and, bam, we get baby pictures of the entity we call the Universe, all capitalized and so forth, the cosmic baby in question--our ultimate forbear--has curls.

Which brings us back to our waver. This entity we call Einstein is starting to rival his fellow Jewish bookend on that other shelf of tomes, the one with that Bible on it, or at least the first five books, Mosaic, etc., it's a Hebrew thing).

Before the big reveal, let's take note of the face that Al here was one of the founders of quantum mechanical theory, that experimentally stellar performer that allows your car to be unlocked from across acres of parking lot and makes your smart phone downright intelligent, and quick---speed of light, that photonic thing that's both a wave and a particle.

It gets better: according to Harvard's team that found this waving "the data confirm a deep connection between quantum mechanics and general relativity."

Now, according to Harvard's team that found this waving "the data confirm a deep connection between quantum mechanics and general relativity."

All the more impressive since Al walked away from quantum physics, claiming that it was a fuzzy, incomplete picture of an underlying, clear reality (he lost that argument to Bohr wherein Bohr shouted "Stop telling God what to do!", his retort to Al's "God doesn't play dice" throwdown; frankly, it's probably that Al was just Bohr... ed.


It's Al himself---no, not the meat and bones Al, but... wait for it... his energy (see: E=mc2). Don't believe me? Google that famous birthday picture done by Sasse, the one with his pyramidal tongue projecting, child-like, from his cosmically prophetic mouth. Curls upon curls. Rest my case.

And we can still call him... Al.

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Updated Jan 2, 2019 12:28 PM EST | More details


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