Mr. and Mrs. Wannabe

Brad Pitt
Ebenezer Scrooge
Ebenezer Scrooge
Ebenezer Scrooge is the principal character in Charles Dickens's 1843 novel, A Christmas Carol. At the beginning of the novel, Scrooge is a cold-hearted, tight-fisted and greedy man, who despises Christmas and all things which give people happiness. | Photo: Charles Dickens | Ebenezer Scrooge, Christmas, Charles Dickens, Scrooge, Glasses, Money, Economy,

How Rev. Ike's mantra snatched the body politic's brains

"The lack of money is the root of all evil!" Thus spake that faux Zarathustra, a.k.a. the late Chicago minister/shepherd to his acquisitive sheep back in the day.

And, for the same 'reason' that lotteries have been discovered by nations and states the world over: you, yes, you, can be rich as Rockefeller as the Depression era tune promised.

Enter Mr. Trump, the card in our collective deck with the smiling visage so appealing to the great mass for whom his ministrations are as American as the flag they've saluted since they could utter their first syllable, that card representing winning, and against all reasonable odds.

The next time you, like me, queue up at the perpetual line to tender your currency for that seductive trump card think of its patron 'saint', and know that you have always known subconsciously: 'I'm being fleeced.'

Click on your usual plasma screen and behold the phalanx of political charlatans, a.k.a., consultants arrayed for your consumption expressing bafflement as to the why's and how's of Mr. Trump's movement, while feeling that concomitant rumbling in your intestinal tract indicative of the most unpleasant of physiology's functions rhyming with trump. You are his, their erstwhile Hamlet/Ophelia, gotten to navel contemplation/nunnery, respectively, but without the 'pale cast of thought' with its resulting loss of 'the name of action', especially in your own rational best interest. Lest you think that they are sincere in this charade by these pundits about their lack of understanding, there's a real undertaking by the current administration dubbed 'Madison Valleywood', whose aim is to combine the brainpower behind advertising and technology, albeit in a worthier cause: fighting terrorism. Nonetheless, like any tool its abuse is irresistible if it succeeds. As proof of concept, think about how your publicly owned, licensed airwaves have become 24/7 (legal) drug pushers; as recently quipped by the Divine Miss M, it's either campaign ads or solutions for erectile dysfunction--in either case, we're, well, you know.

Yes, Donald Trump, the man who would be king has captured that second most visceral of movements: 'You want to be rich.' He personifies simultaneously both the implication and the inference that he (alone) can make you so. Let's break down the active ingredients of this elixir dealer's secret formula:

1) He loves you, even if--especially if--you're 'poorly educated; he said so, out loud, telling it like it is. Those who the system has left behind in this now lauded milieu are the new Clampetts, tired of dreaming of swimming pools, movie star lifestyles;

2) Calvin Coolidge, a real President, whose very name envelopes 'cool', told it like it was/is: 'The business of America is business', ergo, what we need is a CEO President, just look how such a C.V. has managed to guide gullible government toward prosperity--two words: Dow Jones, enough said;

3) Teach a man (p.c., just this once, person) to fish versus handing fishes out; yes, miracles do happen, see his favorite book, newer testament, but..until that reentry from above, artful dealing's tricks of the commercial trade are right there in that second favorite tome, available in paperback, or even the library. Can you say 'bingo'?

4) Winning is about negotiating with and besting others who want to also win--he's got the win/win secret: make the other guy/gal think they've won even when they lose. 'I've built a huge company, very little debt, etc.'

There you have it--it's just like those winners on that TV show, 'Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?'

You do; now, look under that voting booth, yep, a copy of his book, you know, the one.

What do you say, shall we make America 'grate'fully rich again?

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Updated Jan 2, 2019 12:27 PM EST | More details


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